Behind the Mask
by Bunnies are Vicious
Summary: He was broken, drifting along, and desperately clinging to the people around him. He was tired and all he wanted to do was stop, just stop. They crowded around cheering, praising, pushing him forward. He needed them there to hold him up. Too bad they didn't realize it until it was too late.
1. Chapter 1

**Oh God I have no idea if people are going to like this, I was in the mood for some angsty, Ichigo-depressed, story writing. But I have some notes to add:**

**First I'd like to note I DO realize some of these characters might be/are OC. I haven't read of seen any Bleach within a few weeks and the characters are hazy. So please try not to comment about how the characters lack their original attitude.**

**Second, If you do like it, I'd like to tell you might be more chapters, Maybe. However your input is very much appreciated, if you want me to continue.**

**Special thanks to StrangerInAStrangeWorld for letting me know about my grammar mistakes.**

**Finally, please review and leave your honest opinion **

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Some people knew, like Tatsuki, Chad, and his father. They tried not to make a big deal about it giving a hand on the shoulder, or a comforting nod. He was a master at disguising it from everyone that he could have been lying to their faces. The tight scowl on his face held more than the suggested years he had been hanging by a thread. Slowly climbing up in the downward spiral of his severe depression. How anyone could expect anything else should have been impossible, yet everyone did. He's a strong boy, they said, which was true. He fought every day to get up and go to school, where he would sit day after day.

But for the past months he was doing better, everyone could tell it was from the new presence of the Shinigami and everyone knew that when they left he would return to the spiral. Only no one could predict how hard he would hit the bottom, not even he himself. In his defense he really tried to stay away from them at the beginning.

When they did leave the thread snapped. He would have been swallowed whole if Tatsuki hadn't been there to push him forward. She showed up every day and pulled him out of bed. The first few times the scars caught her off guard, yeah she knew with all the fighting he went through he'd have scars but the sight of them still shocked her. She would sit with him until he regained some semblance of composure, sometimes minutes and others hours; he would always insist on not showing his sisters his pain. Then he would dress himself and she would spend the days with him, sometimes when she had plans Chad would take over or if he was feeling up to it he would go on his own even though no one liked that including him.

When they returned to his house he would thank them. After a while when it was only the two of them, he would hug her or kiss her forehead as a thank you.

_She was shocked as his arms wrapped around her shoulders. He was clearly stronger than her but he felt so frail when she returned the hug. His head moved and she felt his lips against her forehead. He pulled away and she felt the tingling spot on her forehead_

_"Bye, Tats,"_

_"Se-see you tomorrow." He half turned and the smile on his face sparked something in her. It was worth it, everything was worth it, slowly but surely the rut he was in was getting shallower and she would keep pulling him out even if he couldn't._

Of course that was when the Shinigami came back, Isshin, Tatsuki, were clearly upset about it, Chad was more frustrated, and Ichigo felt himself standing on a crumbling edge. Orihime, Ishida, and all the Shinigami remained oblivious as always.

The next morning the Shinigami watched him through the window careful to not be seen. Tatsuki entered his room and sat on the bed. She said something and ruffled the spiky orange hair only to frown moments after. She tried to pull him out of bed by his hand and instead he pulled her back causing her to fall into his embrace where he held her. Though his face was covered in her hair a faint smile broke through. His arms were hard as steel as she tried to break free. She kicked the blanket away and then resigned to just lay there. The female Shinigami blushed at Ichigo's body, only having a pair of black boxer shorts. At least it settled the long asked question, boxers or briefs. Eventually Ichigo released his hold on his best friend and she pulled him out of bed.

The Shinigami followed the pair around town, secretly. They didn't do much of anything, they caught up with Chad and hung out for the most part of the day. Then at dusk Ichigo slipped his arm over her shoulders. She stared at him in disbelief and he shrugged. He led her home and she slipped away from him. They sat on the front step of her house and talked for a while before Tatsuki blushed deeply at something he whispered in her ear. Grinning he kissed her cheek and slipped off the step, she remained frozen in place as she held her cheek and watched him walk away.

The Shinigami were as surprised as ever, they never expect the famous Ichigo, angry, annoying, brash, giant-butcher-knife wielding Ichigo to be kind, careful, affectionate, and _soft. _Then again they had never really taken the time to really know him other than Rukia and Renji, maybe, but they didn't try to search beyond the scowl to see if there was more. Just like everyone else.

But that was wrong, no, Ichigo wasn't soft and affectionate, he was the angry, annoying, brash, giant-butcher-knife wielding Ichigo they had originally seen...Wasn't he?

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**And yes in case your blind, I'm an IchigoXTatsuki shipper. Rukia has not only known him for a little more that a year give or take and goes better with Renji, Also she STABBED him, yeah, blah blah blah "it was so she could share her powers with him" she had enough power to kill the hollow, don't you dare say other wise. Orihime is to whiney, honestly I hate her, but that's not the point she goes better with Ishida.**

_**But then who does Ichigo get? **_** Uh-huh that's right, he gets to be with his good friend he had ****_since childhood. _**

**Alright rant aside, hope you liked it, please review.**


	2. Supposing

So Woohoo! Chapter 2, I'm thinking I'll make this into a 5 piece story.

I thought I should clear this up since I didn't mention it last chapter. In this story, Ichigo does have his powers and he can see Shinigami. It's set around the time after the fullbring arc, after the fighting was done they just left.

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There were times when he would stand on the bridge and look at the river flowing below him. It called to him, taunted him. But he wasn't a river, rivers were too easy to see through, too easy to wade through, and too easy to pick apart. No, he was more like a frozen pond. Cold and hard, filled to the brim with imperfections, but he wasn't frozen the whole way through, no matter how much he wanted to be. Just like a pond in the middle of winter, he was still alive beneath the thick ice his mask was made of.

He always thought it was funny they compared him to the summer, his orange hair, his amber eyes, how warm he became when he talked or thought about those he cared about. It was funny how he compared himself to a frozen pond in winter, he compared himself to winter. His touch was dead, his eyes often cold, his emotions harsh and unforgiving, and his stature, ridged and tense. He wasn't summer, he wasn't warm, or he certainly didn't feel it.

To him Tatsuki seemed to be summer. She was what put the warmth and life back into him after being drained away. She was what melted the ice surrounding him, curing the cracks left behind. Although he would never admit it, he liked the feeling of everything melting away at her glance, at the gentle hand on his arm, even the fists that made contact with his skin. And although she would never admit it, Tatsuki liked to see the ice melting away, she liked that she was the reason he kept moving forward, the reason his eyes were that much warmer. Ichigo like to suppose she does it because she wants to, she wants to see him finally become whole or at least become the Ichigo she knew before. He like to suppose she wasn't just doing it because he was her friend and she'd feel guilty seeing him wither away.

But then again Ichigo Kurosaki supposed a lot of things. He supposed people would be sad if he jumped in the river, he supposed his family wanted to help but didn't know how, and he supposed he wouldn't be sorry if he held onto Tatsuki for a few seconds longer or instead of kissing her forehead he would kiss her lips. Sometimes he supposed she wouldn't mind if he did…

When it came to the Shinigami he supposed they saw him as a stepping stone. They would trample across the ice not a care in the world. They assumed the ice was thick enough, perhaps even frozen solid, so they never noticed the cracks that formed with each step. He supposed they just refused to see him as who he truly was because they didn't need someone who was kind and caring. They just needed someone to call on when the bridges were broken and roads washed away.

They just needed that alternate path.

He didn't mind or so he told himself. He let Rukia sleep in his closet, he let them invade in his home, in his room. The company was good, too good. Deep in his mind, the still moving water below the ice, he knew they would have to leave. This wasn't their world, they didn't belong here, and they shouldn't have gotten mixed with him.

Despite what he told himself he couldn't lie, you can't lie to a liar. He knew they thought of him as a friend, or as close one could call a friend. And despite what he might lie to others he didn't see them as friends. He wanted to stop fighting battles for _their_ world, he wanted to stop growing close only to have them rip away again. Every time he knew they would leave but he still got close, and he hated himself for it. Nothing was worse than falling in the trap you saw being made.

That was why he never told Tatsuki or Chad or even his father that they were following him around town. He saw them wave when they thought he saw they or them yelling at each other. It was just that he didn't want to deal with the untold promises, the fake friendship. He knew no matter what they said when they talked to him, the only reason they did was because the needed his help. He supposed that was why they had given him his powers back, so they can call upon him once more in their time of need.

And he would be there just like he had been before, because he couldn't resist. He liked the feeling of being needed, the feeling of being stared at with gazes that saw him as strong. He liked being strong. He liked being the one to win the battle for their world, because that seemed so easy compared to the impossible task of winning his own.

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Thanks for reading, please review.


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